Thankful for Being here

So i have been having lots of different feelings going through my head and i am making my self sick. It is soon to be a year since i broke my back in a truck accident (wow time goes by so fast), and i have still yet to get the ok to ride a horse and it is starting to make me wonder if I'm ever going to be able to get back on my lonely pony. I shouldn't even think about it and just be grateful that i am still here and able to see my family grow, but i cant help but wonder if i will ever be able to do something without some kind of pain. I am so nervous to go back to the doctor in April just hoping things are looking good and healing great. Sometimes i just want to get my feelings out but i don't want Tyrell to see me cry or get depressed about it all. I try not to show my frustration and pain but sometimes it builds up and i just need to let it out. I hope one day i will be able to run with my girls and throw them in the air with no worry of hurting myself. Please don't get me wrong, i am so so thankful that i am here and able to do the things that i can do but sometimes i just get frustrated with myself that's all. I want everyone to know how much i appreciate my sister for being there for me when i am down and just need a shoulder. She has flew in from Phoenix twice just for me and to help me out, i could never thank her enough. You will never know how much she has helped me. She has been there for me from day one. There has been so many times that i have just wanted to give up but with her love, support, and her many prayers for me i have made i through the first and most difficult year. She truly amazes me with her kind words and spirit she is truly the best sister that anyone could ask for. 'Shelle I LOVE YOU and thanks a million for everything. I also want to thank my little family. Taylor is so amazing to me, she is only five and she helps me do things i could never imagine and she is always more than happy to help out. Tyrell is the best husband in the world and has tooken on so so much and has never complained once. I want everyone to know i am so grateful for every ones Love, and Prayers. I am going to try so hard not to complain about my stupid problems, it just helps to get them out of my mind i really don't have it that bad, it could always be worse. Thanks everyone for getting me through this year love lots mariah