Bad News

So today was the day i went for my check up on my back and what a day it has been. First i woke up to snow if that wasn't enough to make the whole day bad. Of course i was running late like usual getting the girls ready and off to the babysitter. I was so so scatterbrained it was unreal, i guess being nervous with the Dr. visit, the snow packed roads and leaving my girls i was just nuts. Anyway so as you know i have been making myself sick about this Dr. appointment just hoping all looks well and that i can start doing more things. Well to make this story short, things didn't turn out that way. After looking at the X-Rays we found that one of the rods in my back is cracked and casing me pain when i bend and do certain things. For you that don't know i have two rods and eight screws holding me together. So we decided to give it three months and if the pain does not go away its back into surgery. So so frustrating, nobody was with me for the sad news so i was trying to hold it in and when i got in the car to go home i just let it all out, there is no way in hell i want to go through the pain, suffering, tears, frustration of not being able to do anything, not being able to take care of my kids, and the restless nights. the list could go on and on. Now please don't get me wrong I'm not trying to complain that is the last thing i want to do, i just needed to get it out. I try to be tough for my little family, i don't want them to worry so I'm telling you all this to get it off my chest. I have so many feeling going through my head, just wondering what i could have done different and when i would have cracked it nothing seems to come to mind and its driving me crazy. I'm so sorry for rambling on.

On a happier note, I'm leaving Wednesday to go see my sister in Phoenix :) Its going to be so good to see her and her cute little family. i miss her so much, it will be nice to get away and get my mind off things. I'm so excited.

Here is some pictures just because i though they were cute.

This is Taylor and Brentlee with one of the new babies a year ago, just after i had gotten home from the hospital. WOW they have grown up so fast.

My Jazzy is into everything and on the go 24-7. She is now eight months old and still has yet to sleep through the night, i could so use one good nights rest. But we still love her :)